I am trying not to hurt you
by Kellicfan
Summary: Blaine has depression and cutting himself. He is trying to be strong but sometimes, trying isn't enough. Depression, Self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is my ff about self harm/depression. I tried my best :) I am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, I am not from English speaking country. So... there you go!  
I don't own Glee. If I did, I Tina would have more solos and Klaine would be back together.**

Blaine didn't know what's wrong with him. He started to feel worthless, sad. Of course, everybody has a bad day when you just want to be alone in your room, lay on bed and listen to sad songs. But Blaine felt like that every day, almost for a month. Kurt noticed a few times that Blaine is really quiet but _it's probably nothing_' He said to himself. Even Kurt has these days.

Blaine was at his locker when Kurt suddenly came to him.  
"Hey, handsome." Said Kurt and smiled at Blaine.  
"Hey." Blaine answered, didn't even look at Kurt.  
"I was wondering if you would like to come to my house after school. We could cuddle and watch West Side Story like the old times. What do you think about it?"  
"I can't Kurt, I am sorry. I don't feel good. I think I will lay down and sleep." Blaine could see his disappointment.  
"Oh, um, that is okay. Get better." Kurt smiled sadly and walked away.  
Blaine sighed and started to search for math book.

After school, Blaine was in his room. He was looking at the wall, trying not to cry. Why does he feel so sad? Why he can't be happy like Kurt. He failed at Math exam, nobody talked to him, except Kurt, and he rejected date with his boyfriend. He felt so stupid. He fell asleep.

It was evening and he reached for his phone to see time when he woke up. 21:30. He noticed he has a new message from Kurt:  
**'**_**Hi, I just wanted to make sure you are alright. I hope you feel better. – K'**_

Blaine texted back:  
**'**_**Hey Kurt, I feel better. I slept for a few hours so I am not that tired like before. Thanks for message. I love you – B' **__  
_It was lie. He didn't feel better. He felt like before. _Numb, stupid, worthless, tired of living. _But he didn't want to tell Kurt. He knew Kurt care about him but Kurt is so happy. And when Blaine will tell him that he feels sad everyday and that he needs someone to ask him if he is really alright, Kurt's mood will change. He didn't want to bother Kurt with his problems.  
When Kurt didn't write back, Blaine started to cry. He thought that Kurt is mad at him or something. That he doesn't love him anymore. That he discovers the truth about Blaine's mood.

Blaine found his old diary. He read some of the old entries and then he wrote a new one:  
_  
Nobody cares. And never will. I hate my life. Nobody loves me. I am always everyone's second choice. Because you know why? They don't care enough to make me feel loved. They don't want to understand. So this is it. My end. I can't take it anymore. They think that I am stupid. Oh, sorry, I forgot, I am. Show must go on. And I am stuck here. *  
- Blaine Anderson._

This is how he felt. Every fucking day.

** -**

At school, at lunch, Blaine was sitting by himself. He wanted to sit with other guys from Glee club. But he didn't want to bother them. Nobody asks him if he wanted to sit with them. So he accepted the truth that they don't want him to be with them and started to eat. He felt so sick. But he knew he has to eat something. Kurt sat next to him.  
"Hello, Blaine, why do you sit here alone?"  
"Well, nobody asks me to sit next to them so I am eating here." He pointed at the food.  
"You don't have to ask, you can always sit with us. But you know what? I don't want you to be alone so I will eat here."  
"No, Kurt, be with your friends. I don't mind being alone." _I actually do.  
_"Blaine, stop it. I will eat here."  
Said Kurt and started to eat. Blaine felt that Kurt is mad at him.  
"I'm sorry." He muttered. Kurt looked at him.  
"What are you sorry for?"  
"I told you to go away."  
"Blaine, you didn't tell me to go away, you politely told me, that I should be with my friends. But I rather want to be here with you. So, don't be sorry, okay?" Said Kurt and Blaine nodded.

When they finished eating, Kurt asked him.  
"Let's go to your house after school, okay?"  
"Kurt, I don't feel-"  
"I know you don't but I can help you. We will lay down, watch something and I will also make you tea. And I do not take No as answer."  
"Okay." Blaine sighed.

At Blaine's house, Kurt and Blaine were watching movie. Blaine needed to go to bathroom. Kurt stayed in room, looking around. He already knew how Blaine's room looked but he was curious. He looked at the diary. He didn't know it was diary, he assumed it was just some notebook. He opened it where there was latest entry. He read it all. He covered his mouth and started to have trouble breathing. He sat on bed, threw the diary away and tried to breathe normal again but it didn't work. Blaine felt this way and Kurt didn't know about it. Terrible boyfriend. Blaine came back from bathroom and found his diary on floor and Kurt crying on his bed. He started to feel scared and guilty. He rushed to Kurt.

"Kurt, honey, don't cry, what's wrong?" Asked Blaine and Kurt looked at him.  
"Y-you hate your life, you feel like nobody cares, why didn't you tell me about it?"  
"I am sorry, Kurt, I didn't want to bother you."  
"You will never bother me. I just want to know why."  
"I don't know, Kurt. It just comes and suddenly I feel like I am nobody."  
"Blaine, please, don't feel that way."  
"I CAN'T OKAY?!" Snapped Blaine. Kurt started to cry harder. Blaine realized what he done and started to cry too.  
"I am sorry Kurt, I am so sorry." Whispered Blaine.  
"B-Blaine, please, don't cry."  
"I am sorry, Kurt, I am so stupid. Why do I even live. I don't deserve you, I don't deserve my friends and I don't deserve this life. I am just worthless stupid fag."  
"Blaine, please, don't talk like that."  
"But it's true! I just go kill myself, it will be better for everyone." Said Blaine, and ran to kitchen for knife. He opened drawer when suddenly someone held him from behind.  
"Blaine stop it!"  
"NO, leave me alone!"  
"Blaine I am calling 911, if you won't calm down."  
"I will never calm down. Nobody loves me. I am so STUPID and WORTHLESS, just leave me alone so I will finally die in peace!"  
Kurt pulled Blaine from kitchen to his room and laid him on bed. He held Blaine's wrists and tried to calm him down. Blaine was trying to get out of Kurt's grip. After a while Blaine stopped moving and calmed down. Kurt fell to ground and was crying. He was so scared. Blaine almost killed himself if he didn't get him out of kitchen.  
"Kurt..." Blaine rushed to Kurt and pulled him into hug. Kurt held Blaine tight.  
"I was so scared." Said Kurt as he cried into Blaine's shirt.  
"I know Kurt, I am sorry." Said Blaine. Kurt looked at him.  
"Blaine you have to promise me, you won't try to do it again. It will rip my heart apart if you will even think about it."  
"I can't promise that."  
"Why?!"  
"I just can't. I am sorry Kurt."  
"At least try. Please."  
"Okay, I will."  
They held each other and Blaine hushed Kurt. He hated himself even more for making Kurt cry.  
_So worthless... _He thought to himself.

**A/N****2 **: **So… what do you think? I know, it's not perfect****. ****More coming up! I don't know when I will update it, but I am already writing second chapter. Please, review so I can see if you want me to continue or if you want me to delete it. Thank you :3  
* - this was real entry from my diary. But I am fine, don't worry :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello :) I hope you will like this chapter. It's little bit longer than the last one. This one has a many surprises in it. Again, I am sorry if I have some grammar mistakes in it. **

Next day, Blaine didn't want to meet Kurt. Kurt tried to call him at least 15 times. He wanted to end this life. But he had to be strong for Kurt. _Like Kurt even cares... _He dialled Trevor Project number.

_"Hello, this is Trevor Project. Can I help you?"  
_"Hey, um, I just don't know how to start..."  
_"It's okay. Start whenever you want."  
_"I am feeling so worthless. I feel like nobody cares and even my own mind is against me. I want to end this life."  
_"Listen. I don't know how you feel but I want to help you. I am sure there is someone you love, am I right?"  
_"Yes, my boyfriend. I love him so much."  
_"And I am sure he doesn't want you to feel this way, and I am sure he doesn't want you to end your life. Have you ever thought about how it will be for him when you end your life?"  
_"He'll get over it. Like everybody. Even my parents don't care about me. They act like I am not their son."  
_"Forget them. Try to hold on for your boyfriend. Tell me, what you love most about him?"  
_"I love his smile. He has amazing eyes. The way he looks at me when I tell him I love him. Or when we are lying and we hold each other. Or the morning after we make love. There is so much about him."  
_"And can you imagine you will lost all of it? And how he will be so sad because his boyfriend won't be near him?"  
_"He is already sad! I made him fucking cry! And I hate myself for it. I should do it. Just take these pills. Sorry I bothered you."  
_"No! Listen, because I am going to tell you something. I care about you."  
_"Hah, you don't even know me."  
_"Don't be that sure, Blainers."  
_"What the... Cooper?!"  
_"I am in Trevor Project when I have free time. Blaine. Don't fucking kill yourself."  
_"Cooper, you don't understand. Kurt is so sad because of me. And I want him to be happy."  
_"He is happy when he is with you! Call him, and say that you need help. Do it. You'll see he cares."  
_"Okay, I'll do it. Thanks Coop. Bye." And Blaine cancelled call. He called Kurt.

_"Hello Blaine, how are you?"  
_"Um, great, could you please come?"  
_"Sure, but why?"  
_"I'll tell you later. But please, I need you."  
_"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."_

After ten minutes, Kurt knocked on door. Blaine opened it. They said hi and walked to upstairs. They sat on bed.

"So, why did you call me?"  
"I... need you. I need to know you care."  
"Blaine. I love you and I care about you."  
"I wanted to kill myself this morning." Kurt stopped to breathe.  
"I am sorry, but I had to tell you this."  
"Okay, I am glad you told me. Blaine, why are you so sad all the time? You were okay!"  
"I know I am like fucking retarded and don't deserve to live! You are the only one thing that is keeping me alive."  
"I am glad but you should care more about yourself."  
"I don't care. I hate myself. You are more important."  
"Blaine, please, shut up. Don't say things like these. What about some therapist? Maybe someone could help you when I can't." Kurt sadly smiled.  
"I don't care..." There was awkward silence after that. After minute, Kurt asked:  
"Blaine, do you cut yourself?"

"No. I am not. You think I am some stupid weak boy, right? Well, I guess I am but I am not doing stupid thing as slitting my wrists. I am not that desperate."  
"I know. I am sorry." Kurt apologized and there was silence again. "You know what? I should go. I need to take care of my dad."

"What about Carole?"  
"She is working. And if anything will happen or you want to do something to yourself, call me. Bye sweetheart." Said Kurt, kissed Blaine's cheek. Then he left.

Blaine was sad again. He already missed Kurt. He thought about what Kurt said: _Fucking cutting yourself? You're not into that. You are fucking normal. Only stupid emo teens do that. You're not like them. _

He walked into the bathroom and took dad's razor blade. _Just once. For try. _He pressed blade into his wrist and moved it across his skin. The blood appeared and he didn't feel anything. Just watching the blood pouring from his wrist. It was amazing. He felt like he is alive. Like he is not empty inside. He added 5 cuts and he said to himself that it's enough. He didn't want to stop but he had to or he could damage himself more than he meant to. And Kurt... Fuck, he was feeling bad again. But what Kurt doesn't know, doesn't hurt him.

**-**

Next day he walked into the school in good mood. He brought blade with him so he could cut himself in bathroom. _Such a genius_. Kurt walked to him.  
"Someone is in good mood today." He smiled and  
"Yep. Is that wrong?"  
"No! Of course not, I am just curious because you have been feeling down lately."  
"But I am fine, okay? Everything is fine. Let's go to class."

**- **

They decided, they will go home and cuddle. So they did. Kurt was lying on his boyfriend's chest and Blaine held him around his back.  
"Blaine could you please pass me my phone? I need to send message to dad." Blaine did what Kurt asked for and reached for Kurt's phone. His sleeve was up his wrist and there were Blaine's cuts.  
"Blaine?" Kurt asked as he noticed Blaine's wrist.  
"Hm?"

"Tell me you are not cutting yourself."  
"Kurt, I already told you, I am not..."  
"Then what about this fucking wrist?!" He pointed to Blaine's wrist. Blaine looked at it and he felt really uncomfortable.  
"Umm, cat...?" Blaine told Kurt.  
"Blaine, don't lie to me, you don't have a cat. Just tell me why? I am not mad."  
"I wanted to try it and I liked it. Kurt it feels so fucking awesome. Like you reminds yourself you are alive."  
"But you don't have to cut yourself."  
"I'll stop, okay? No more cuts."  
"Okay." Kurt said and laid down again. He wasn't really sure if he should trust him. He loves him but... he didn't believe this was true.

**- **

After Kurt left, Blaine went to bathroom. He took razor blade, but he didn't cut. He needed to be strong. It was just a try, right? He tried to think about Kurt. How much it will hurt him if he cut himself. He shook his head and just cut himself on wrist. He cut just slightly but there was still blood. Then he decided that he will do how many cuts he wants. So he cut himself on arm twenty times. It was enough. For now. Later, he was able to feel the sting from cuts. But it felt awesome. It was painful but his emotional pain was worse. He cleaned his arm and went to bed. His parents never were home. They didn't care. They still don't.

**-**

It was finally Friday. After his last class, Blaine walked to lockers and Kurt ran after him.  
"Hey, Blaine." Kurt said.  
"Oh, hey Kurt. How was your day?"  
"It was okay. But are _you_ okay? " Said Kurt and walked closer to him.  
"Of course, I am fine, why?" Blaine asked like Kurt was ridiculous.  
"Then pull up your sleeve. Prove that you don't cut yourself anymore."  
"Kurt, don't be ridiculous..." Blaine said and didn't even look at him. Kurt decided not to lose time and pulled up Blaine's sleeve. He saw Blaine's cuts.  
"Kurt, I am sorry..." Blaine said.  
"No... you are not. You don't love me."  
"Are you crazy? I love you so much!"  
"Then you wouldn't do this!" Kurt snapped. Blaine started to feel bad.  
"Blaine... please. If you will still cut yourself even if you promise you won't, then I don't know if I can trust you." Said Kurt and turned away.  
"Kurt, please, trust me!" Blaine yelled and fell down on floor. He started to cry. Kurt turned and ran to him.  
"Okay, listen to me now. Promise you won't do it again, but for real."  
"I promise! Please, don't leave me, I will do anything, just please, don't leave me..." Blaine cried and Kurt held him.  
"Shh... I will never leave you. I know you like to hurt yourself but it's hurting me even more. So stop."  
"I am stupid, just say it. I am not good enough."  
"Blaine, you are not stupid, we just have to find other way for you to cope with pain. This is too dangerous. And if you think you are not good enough, then you are wrong. You are perfect to me." Kurt said to him and they were hugging for hour. They didn't care they were in school. They needed each other.

**-**

When Blaine opened doors of his house, he didn't expect this. He saw his parents being finally home.  
"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?" Blaine started.  
"Well, we needed to go home for some papers we forgot. But we are flying to New York again tomorrow." Said his mother.  
"So, son, do you have girlfriend?" His dad asked.  
"Dad, you forgot I am gay. I have boyfriend." Blaine snapped. After that, it was quiet in room.  
"You know what? I am going to my room. I don't want dinner." Blaine said and walked upstairs into his room. He fell into bed and didn't even move. He needed to fight against himself. He wanted to go to bathroom and cut himself. Feel the blood and that sting. He couldn't. Not for Kurt. He dialled Kurt but Kurt has voice-mail. He hadn't any other choice. He walked into bathroom and cut himself. After first cut, he smiled. He heard his mother shouting his name and he turned around but accidentally cut himself. Deep. He panicked and pressed some towel around his cut. He walked downstairs but feeling so tired. When he walked into kitchen after mom, he fainted. Everything went black. Is he dead?

**AN2: So, did you like it? I know you hate endings like this, but come on, we need some more drama ;D I need to do homework, but I will start next chapter today and I should post it tomorrow on evening. So please, review :) I will be so happy. I think I will do next chapter in Kurt's POV. Thank you so much for reading! :) :3 **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I am sorry I didn't update sooner. Please don't hate me. Thank you so much for your reviews! Reviews are making me happy. This chapter is shorter but I hope you will enjoy it :) I think I have some grammar mistakes here, I am sorry. I didn't write it from Kurt's POV. It's easier for me to write it like this :D So... There you go!  
**  
Kurt didn't know what to do anymore to make sure, Blaine is not going to cut himself. Blaine said that he is not going to cut himself never again, but Kurt is not that sure. He heard about those kids who have depression and cutting themselves, but he never thought Blaine is going to be one of them. He shook his head and finally made his way out of his bed. He took a shower and then he made breakfast for his dad and himself.  
"Dad, today I am going to mall with Mercedes. Is that okay?" Kurt asked.  
"Yeah, sure. And why you don't go with Blaine?" Burt asked too as he ate his breakfast.  
"Blaine doesn't like shopping that much. He likes singing and watching football."  
"I know. You are always daydreaming about him."  
"Dad! Anyway, he needs to relax a little. So, I am going to mall. Bye dad, love you."

**-**

After Kurt left house, he rode to mall, waiting for Mercedes. She came ten minutes later.  
"Mercedes! I thought you forgot!" Kurt said when he noticed her.  
"Of course I didn't! I just had to find someone who could drive me here. "  
"Okay. So, where do you want to go?"  
"I need coffee first, Kurtie." Mercedes laughed.  
"Okay, okay. Let's have coffee." Kurt said and linked arm with her.

**-**

When they came to Lima Bean, they ordered their coffees and sat down.  
"So... how's Blaine?" Mercedes asked him.  
"He's... he's good. He is just having hard time at home because he is alone most of time. His parents are working in New York."  
"Ahh, poor boy. "  
"Yeah. But let's talk about us-" Kurt said but suddenly his phone started to ring. "Excuse me, Mercedes, it' my dad."  
"It's okay." Mercedes said and he picked it up.  
"Dad? What's wrong?"  
"Um, Kurt, Blaine's mother called me. Blaine is in hospital." Burt said.  
"Oh my god. What happened, is he okay?!"  
"Blaine... he cut himself and it was too deep. Doctors think it was suicide attempt. And he is in coma." Kurt had hard time not to faint.  
"D-dad, can I see him?"  
"Doctors are still doing some tests but you should be able to in hour. You can wait there."  
"Sure. Thank you dad for telling me, I need to be there."  
"Kurt, I just need to know. What's wrong with him?"  
"H-he is cutting himself. And I think he has depression. I really can't talk right now, I am sorry. Bye." Kurt said and rushed to Mercedes.  
"Cedes, I need to go to hospital. Don't ask me why. It's urgent. We'll talk later." Kurt said and then rode to hospital.

**-  
**  
Kurt rushed to department where was Blaine. He could see Blaine through window. He started to cry. Blaine was pale and he had bandage on his arm. He shouldn't leave Blaine alone. He felt like it was his fault. He sat down. Someone sat next to him.  
"You are Kurt, right?" Kurt looked at that person who spoke at him. It was women.  
"Yes. And who are you, may I ask?" Kurt asked.  
"I am Blaine's mother, Mary. Do you want to know what happened?" Mary asked and Kurt nodded.  
"I called Blaine for dinner and he came down from upstairs. I noticed he was little bit tired. And he has towel on his arm. I wanted to ask why he has towel on his arm but he fainted. And I c-called ambulance- I am sorry." She started to cry.  
"It's okay, let it out. I knew he was cutting himself and maybe he has a depression. But he promised me he will never do it again... I shouldn't trust him." Kurt couldn't help but started to cry.

**-**

One hour later, doctor told them they can go to his room. Mary said that he should go first. So he did. Kurt entered into room. He moved some chair to Blaine's bed and took Blaine's hand.  
"Blaine... I don't know if you can hear me now. I don't believe things like afterlife or god's power. But I want to tell you anyway. You hurt me. You hurt me so bad. I thought I can always trust you. You said you won't cut. Never again. But you did. I am sure you are so happy right now. I don't believe that you attempted suicide. I will be here everyday. No matter what. I will be here when you'll wake up. And if you can hear me, please... Don't be dead." He started crying again and hid his face. He shook his head.  
"Your mother will visit you, okay? I am going for some coffee." Kurt said and left.

**-**

For whole month Kurt was sitting at his bed, talking about random things that happened to him. Blaine was still in coma. Kurt didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay with his boyfriend. Sometimes he laid his head on bed tried to fall asleep. Forgets everything and hopes this all was only dream. But it's impossible. This happened.

But one day, after month, Blaine woke up. Kurt was lying his head on bed but suddenly he heard some mumbling.  
"K-Kurt..." Kurt looked at Blaine immediately.  
"Oh my god. Blaine you are alive! Oh my... I was so scared! I thought I lose you!"  
"N-no... I-I love y-you."  
"I love you too. Honey. Never do that again. Ever."  
"I-I won't..."  
"Let's talk about this later. Have some rest. I am going to tell doctor you are awake." Said Kurt and left. Blaine was alive. But he wasn't okay.

**AN2: So did you like it? Blaine didn't die. I couldn't make him dead. Too much drama for me :D Okay, I honestly have no idea when I will update because I am going to cinema tomorrow and I will be back in... 9 PM? So... There is big chance that it's going to be tomorrow but I can't promise anything. So... there is a few things you can expect in next chapter:  
-Big Klaine talk  
-Blaine will go home.  
-Kurt/Cooper talk**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I am sorry I didn't post new chapter yesterday. It wasn't complete. But now it is! So... there is new chapter with shocking ending... muhahaha... :D Sorry for grammar mistakes :D**

After a few days, Blaine was feeling less tired. He was laughing at everything what Kurt said. But one morning, Kurt had a feeling that they should talk about what happened.  
"Blaine?" Kurt called him as he was sitting on his usual place next to bed.  
"Hm?" Said Blaine as he was reading some magazine.  
"I think we should talk."  
"About what?"  
"What you did a few days ago."  
"I don't want to talk about that."  
"I know you don't but we have to. Blaine, I want to ask you- why do you love cutting more than me?" Kurt asked and Blaine finally looked at him.  
"Kurt! That is not true. I love you more than anything."  
"Then why are you still cutting yourself? I want to help you. I really do but I don't know what to do anymore! I told you: Go on some therapy. But you didn't want to. I don't know how you feel, I never had depression but I know it's scary." There was a silence between them. Kurt sighed. "You know what? I need some fresh air, I'll be back soon." Said Kurt and left Blaine. He sat on some bench outside hospital and started to cry. It was too much for him. He was thinking about help for Blaine but he couldn't think of anything. He dialled Cooper. He had his number since he was on McKinley. Kurt asked for his number when he was leaving Ohio.  
"Hello?" Cooper asked.  
"Um, hey, It's Kurt, Blaine's boyfriend, I hope you remember me."  
"Oh, sure! What's up, Kurt?"  
"Blaine is in hospital and you weren't there so I don't know if you know what happened."  
"W-what?! Blaine is in hospital?! Okay, Kurt, tell me what happened."  
"Blaine is cutting himself and he cut too deep. He was in coma but he is fine now. I don't know what to do anymore. I want him to stop because he is hurting me even more."  
"Okay, before I am going to yell at my parents why they didn't tell me anything, the best thing you can do, is be with him. He needs you in this situation and maybe you should tell him something to make him stop?"  
"Okay, I'll try. Thanks. Bye Cooper." Kurt ended call. He sighed and went into hospital again to Blaine's room. They didn't talk now. They held each other's hands.

**- **

Blaine could go home now. He didn't want to go on some stupid therapy. _It's pointless. _On early morning he packed his things that his mother brought him and signed some papers. Happily he walked out of hospital and rode with his mother back home. She was worried about his health. But he just waved his hand and told her that he is fine. But at the moment he came to bathroom, he was searching for razor blade. He didn't care about anything. He didn't care about Kurt. He pressed razor to his arm but suddenly- Someone rang. He put razor blade on sink and pulled down his sleeve. He ran into his room. Someone knocked on his door and he opened it. It was Kurt.  
"Oh, hey Kurt."  
"Hey Blaine. Can I come in? I wanted to talk to you."  
"Sure, come here." He stepped out of door and then closed it. Kurt sat on his bed.  
"You know how I said I want to help you? I really do. So, I was searching on internet how to help someone who self-harms. So I am trying to be calmer and you can always talk to me. And even call me in the middle of the night. I will come into your house and I will try to calm you."  
"Thank you." Blaine smiled and sat next to him. He pulled Kurt into hug.  
"And try to be strong, please, for me." Kurt sobbed. He started to cry because he wants Blaine to be strong and finally stop cutting himself.  
"I will. Don't worry." He kissed Kurt's head.  
"Can you give me your razor? Or anything you are cutting with." Kurt said and Blaine pulled away.  
"I can't give it to you. I am sorry."  
"Then how can I be sure that you won't cut yourself?! You said you'll try to be strong. And this is the first step. So give me your razor."  
"And you think that I won't go to mall for another razor?! You think that when I give you my weapon that it's all away?! No, sorry Kurt, I am not stupid."  
"God! Blaine, at least TRY to change."  
"And what I've been doing?!"  
"Cutting yourself! But I am not leaving you. I want to help you like a good boyfriend."  
"Then go away." Blaine said and turned away.  
"What did you just say? You want me to go away? Fine. Why do I even bother. But still. When you will have some problem or you want to cut, call me."  
"Well, the last time I did that you had voice-mail. So I don't know if I can do it."  
"I am sorry. I'll be at phone all the time. Bye Blaine." He said and kissed top of his head. Then he left and Blaine was alone. Of course his mother was downstairs, but he felt alone. He pushed everybody away. Even his boyfriend. He wanted to cut but he made a promise.

**-**

It was Monday, but Blaine was home. His mom wanted him to be home at least for a week. He was lying on bed and staring at his phone. Should he text Kurt? After some ten minutes, he did.  
**'Hey, I wanted to ask you, are you mad at me? –B' **  
_'No, of course not. See you after school –K'  
_**'I love you! –B'  
**Blaine was waiting for respond. But Kurt didn't text back. This was too much for him. He made his way to bathroom. He took razor and made cut on his arm. He tried not to make some big cut because of Kurt. But then he made deeper cuts. These could make really big scars. Then he fell down on floor and started to cry. His mother found him so she cleaned his cuts and helped him to go to bed. She took his razor.

**- **

After school, Kurt ran to Blaine's house. He rang. Mary opened door.  
"Hey Mrs. Anderson, can I visit Blaine?"  
"Um, sure. Come in. But I have to tell you something." Kurt stepped in and Mary closed the door.  
"What is it? Is it Blaine?" Kurt asked.  
"Yes. He cut himself again. But his cuts are deeper. So, maybe you should talk to him about it?"  
"I tried! I tried everything! But I don't see the point when he obviously doesn't want help."  
"Go after him. He needs you." Kurt nodded and walked upstairs. He knocked on Blaine's door and then came in.  
"Go away Kurt, you will be mad at me." Blaine said. Kurt could hear tears in his voice. Kurt walked to his bed and stroked his hair.  
"Shh... I am not mad at you. I know you cut today. It was because I didn't respond to your message, right?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded.  
"Well, I wanted to reply 'I love you too' but I couldn't because teacher took my phone. I tried to tell him that it's urgent and it will be only one message but he didn't give it back. I am sorry." Kurt said and Blaine looked at him.  
"So you are really not mad at me?"  
"No. I am mad at that teacher. Can I see your cuts?" Blaine nodded and showed him his cuts.  
"Jesus... aren't you scared you will cut too deep again?"  
"Not really. I am careful now."  
They were lying on bed. Together. Kurt held Blaine and Blaine sobbed. He was still crying because he was ashamed. He held his sleeve even through Kurt have seen his cuts.  
"Blaine, you don't have to hide your cuts."  
"I have to. I am ashamed of them." Blaine said and Kurt took his arm. He pulled up his sleeve and kissed his cuts. Blaine was crying even more.  
"See? Nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful. You and your scars. But don't think that when you are going to cut again, I won't be mad. I will. This time I am not because I know why you did that."  
"Okay, thank you, Kurt."

**-  
**  
One day, Blaine had enough. He had stupid fight with Kurt. He told Kurt that he will kill himself if he gets bad grade from test he did in school. But it was just a joke. Kurt didn't get the joke and there was a fight. Blaine ran home and cut himself with scissors. He was so angry and so sad. His phone started to ring. He didn't care. He damaged his arm so badly. His whole arm was covered with cuts. Kurt ran into his house. He knew where was secret key. He opened the door and ran into Blaine's room. He saw Blaine and his damaged arm. He covered his mouth and fell down on floor. He couldn't even move. He started to cry. Blaine immediately cleaned up his arm and ran to Kurt.  
"Kurtie, I am sorry."  
"I can't do this anymore...* Kurt brushed his own tears and walked to bed where there were scissors. He took off his sweatshirt and cut himself like Blaine did. In front of Blaine's eyes. He cut himself twice. Then walked to Blaine.  
"Now do you know how it hurts me to see you cut yourself?! It hurts me even more! So now, whenever I see new cuts on your arm, I will cut myself. I don't even care."  
"No, please, Kurt, don't do that... I can't stop!"  
"Then I won't either. You have to choose. Me or self-harm?  
**  
AN2: So... did you like it? I will work on new chapter today on evening. Btw, reviews makes me happy. Seriously. Ask my friend. I was calling on skype with her and I was looking at my ff and there were new reviews and I started to scream. She was like wtf :DD Thank you for reading! :3 **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I am so sorry I didn't update sooner. I wasn't feeling well lately and I had too much work. I am sorry. Here you have small chapter. I will make longer later. I swear. Sorry for grammar mistakes.**__

_"Now do you know how it hurts me to see you cut yourself?! It hurts me even more! So now, whenever I see new cuts on your arm, I will cut myself. I don't even care."__  
__"No, please, Kurt, don't do that... I can't stop!"__  
__"Then I won't either. You have to choose. Me or self-harm?"___

**  
****-**

Blaine was shocked by what Kurt said.  
"Honey, what are you saying?"  
"You need to choose between your boyfriend and your razor. Because I can't fight anymore."  
"Of course it's always you."  
"Then to this for me. Get help. Go to some therapist or something but please, get help."  
"You are helping me."  
"Well, not enough. Please Blaine. This time, not for me, but for you."  
"Okay, okay, I will get help."  
"Tomorrow, you will get your ass to therapist. I need to know you're trying."  
"I will, okay?!"  
"Okay, thank you, it means so much to me."  
At this point, they both cried.  
"Can I clean your cuts?" Asked Blaine.  
"Um, sure. Sorry." Blaine walked away for some cleaning tools. When he came back, Kurt pulled out his bleeding arm. When he was done, he bandaged his arm.  
"Thank you. Sorry for what I did. I wanted to put pressure on you but I think I did too much. Sorry." Kurt apologized.  
"It's okay. Just don't do it again. Ever."  
"I won't. Don't worry. I just don't understand how can you do it and feel good when you know that your boyfriend is scared to death."  
"Self harm is about forgetting all the pain inside you. Or when you worry too much. And I am scared that I will reach the point, where I will cut myself even when I won't be sad."  
"You won't. With help, you will be alright."  
"Okay."

**- **

Next day, he had appointment with his new therapist. His mother was waiting in waiting room. Therapist was young, but seems nice. Blaine was sitting in front of her and she was writing some things on paper.  
"So Blaine, your mother told me you are self-harmer. When this started?" She asked him and he didn't answer.  
"Okay, and why do you cut yourself?" He still didn't say anything.  
"Blaine, your mother told me you want to get better. And that means you have to try. So, answer my question- Why do you cut yourself?"  
"Okay, fine! I do it because I am stupid. I am making my boyfriend sad and I don't want that. I want to be fucking normal again."  
"And you will if you talk to me. I want to help you. And do you feel sad or depressed?"  
"All the time. I am just stupid worthless boy who should be dead."  
"No, that is not true. Trust me. You are not the only one who feels like that. And have you ever attempted suicide?"  
"No. I mean, I thought about it but I haven't."  
"You will take antidepressants called Prozac. When you will feel like you want to cut, take one. But I be careful."  
"I won't fucking kill myself."  
"I know. But you can take too much pills just from anger. And that is normal. " She said and Blaine just looked away. They talked for hour about his past, his parents, school...  
"And there is receipt for Prozac and we'll see next week. Bye Blaine." She said and Blaine didn't reply. He left the room.  
"How was your appointment?" His mother asked.  
"Fucking amazing.." He said and left the building.

**- **

In the evening, Kurt had sleepover over Blaine's place because Blaine's mother had a meeting.  
"So, how was your appointment?"  
"You sounds like my mother. And it was boring. I have these new antidepressants." Blaine showed Kurt Prozac.  
"I am so proud of you. That you actually been there. Thank you." Kurt said and Blaine smiled at him.  
"Um, so, what about Disney and cuddling?" Kurt asked.  
"That would be perfect."

**-**

Since the appointment, Blaine didn't have any need of cutting his wrist. Until Friday night. Blaine and his father were fighting again. Blaine's father, Adam, said, that he doesn't need any stupid pills. All he needs is girlfriend. Blaine went upstairs and staring at his hidden razor blade. He needed that sting. He needed blood. He has to be strong for Kurt. So instead of cutting, he took pill of Prozac. After some ten minutes, Blaine calmed down. He was feeling a little bit tired, but he didn't need sleep. Blaine called Kurt.  
"Kurt?"  
"Yes, Blaine? Is something wrong? Oh god, you cut yourself, didn't you?" Kurt was worried.  
"No, I took pill instead. I just wanted you to know that I didn't cut."  
"I am so proud of you. You are amazing, Blaine. I love you."  
"I love you too. And thank you. Bye." Blaine cancelled call. He was okay. For the first time.

**AN2: How did you like this chapter? I, personally, don't like this chapter that much at the previous chapters. But like I said, I will make longer chapters.  
By the way, my dad has Prozac and I have some kind of antidepressants that works like Prozac. ANYWAY, I should update tomorrow. I will have more time now. Please, reviews! :) :3 **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Like I promised, here you have longer chapter. This chapter is really shocking and full of drama. Again, sorry for grammar mistakes.  
**  
The days went on and on. Whenever Blaine had his 'episode', he took antidepressants. And Kurt was glad. He wouldn't know how to deal with everything if he found Blaine on floor with blood on his skin one more time. Blaine and his therapist talked more and more about personal things for example- Bullying, homophobic father... everything that destroyed Blaine's life. One day, after Blaine's appointment with therapist, Blaine and Kurt were cuddling on Kurt's bed at Blaine's house.  
"So... how was your appointment?" Kurt asked as usual.  
"It was great! We've talked a lot about Dalton today so it wasn't boring."  
"I am so proud of you. You don't even know how much."  
"Let's go on date to some restaurant."  
"Um, I would rather cuddle with you. " Kurt said and cuddled closer to Blaine.  
"You know I love you, right?" Blaine said.  
"Of course! I love you too."  
"And you know I want to be with you for the rest of my life."  
"Blaine, of course, what are you talking about?"  
"Marry me." Blaine said and Kurt looked surprised.  
"Blaine, are you proposing?" Kurt asked, couldn't believe what he heard. Blaine got on one knee next to the bed.  
"Marry me, please, I love you so much, you are my teenage dream and you changed my life. I would be dead without you, please, I love you so much."  
"Blaine stop. Please." Kurt closed his eyes.  
"Please, marry me, I'll give you everything you want, but please, marry me."  
"Blaine, I love you too, so much. But we are young and I don't think that we can handle be married at this age. I am not saying we won't get married. No. But not now. I am sorry, but I will not marry you." Kurt said and Blaine started to cry.  
"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head and started to scrape himself hard.  
"Blaine, stop! Where do you have Prozac?!"  
"It doesn't matter! You hate me like I hate myself! I should just fucking kill myself!" He said and ran to window. Kurt ran after him and pulled him into his arms.  
"Blaine stop! Everything will be fine! I don't hate you."  
"Then you would marry me! I am sorry, Kurt. I don't want to live anymore." Blaine said and with strong move, he pulled himself out of Kurt's grip and jumped out of window. Kurt was in complete shock. He looked out of broken window. Blaine's body was lying on ground. He ran to outside of his house and called ambulance.  
"Please, help me, my boyfriend jumped out of window and he is lying here on ground, please, he is bleeding."  
"Okay, try to stop bleeding and check for pulse." Kurt ripped piece of his shirt and pressed it to wound. Then he checked for pulse on his neck.  
"He has weak pulse. And I pressed a piece of shirt to his wound."  
"Tell me your name and address."  
Kurt told her his address, Blaine's and his name.  
"Ambulance will be there in ten minutes. Do you want me to stay on line?"  
"No, that is okay." He cancelled the call and looked at Blaine's body. He couldn't believe it. Blaine couldn't die. Not because of him. Kurt didn't cry. It didn't hit him yet.

-

When Blaine was taken to hospital, Kurt was waiting in waiting room. He was still in shock. He still sees Blaine falling down from window. After hour, doctor came to him.  
"Mr. Hummel, your boyfriend Mr. Anderson is in coma. And we don't know when he will wake up. Maybe after week, maybe after month or maybe..."  
"Never." Kurt finished his line for himself.  
"Either way, I will call you when you will be able to go to his room. I already called his mother. You should go home and rest for a bit. This must be really hard for you."  
"Blaine was here before. He cut himself too deep and was in coma for a month. He is fighter. I know he will be alright."  
"I am just saying possibilities. He is young so he should be alright but I can't promise anything. And do you know why he did that?"  
"Because I refused to marry him. It's all my fault."  
"No. If he wasn't ill he could take it better. So don't blame yourself. " Doctor left but Kurt couldn't help but still thought it is his fault. He walked home. When he was home, his father came to him.  
"Kurt, where have you been?! And why do you have blood on your hand? Are you okay?"  
"B-Blaine, he fell out of window. He wanted to kill himself." He said and it finally hit him. Blaine attempted suicide. In front of his eyes. Kurt started to cry.  
"Jesus... Kurt, everything will be alright. I will make you some tea and you will lay down, okay? Come inside." Burt said and Kurt walked inside. He made his way to couch. Kurt was staring blankly at wall. Burt put tea on table.  
"I will give you some blanket." Burt left to give him blanket. Kurt held the blanket and cried.  
"I need my Blaine." Kurt whispered. Burt heard it and sighed.  
"He is fighter. He will be okay."

**-**

Next week, Doctor called Kurt.  
"Mr. Hummel?"  
"Yes, is everything alright? How is Blaine?"  
"Blaine is okay. I just wanted to tell you that you can go to his room if you want to."  
"Sure, I'll be there in minute."  
Kurt put his clothes on and left to hospital. When he was in hospital, he walked into Blaine's room. Blaine looked like shit. He was really pale and he had a lot tubes going from his body. He had oxygen mask on his face and bandages on his legs and arms. He covered his mouth so he couldn't scream. But he wanted to. He wanted to scream at Blaine and be mad at him. Blaine left him like that. He knew he was different because of Blaine's illness but he wanted the old Blaine. The nice, sweet, cute, sexy Blaine. Not Blaine who has depression, self-harms himself and saying things like '_I want to die.' _This wasn't him.

Kurt walked to bed. He wanted to take his hand but he was afraid. He doesn't know what he was afraid. He just couldn't take his hand.  
"Blaine, I can't say how it hurts me to see you here for the second time. I need to remind myself you are the same Blaine Anderson as before. I am mad at you but I want you to wake up. I need you here so please. Wake up. Wake up!" He screamed the last line and Blaine's heart (He could see it on machine where you can watch if the heart is beating right) started to go crazy. Doctors ran into his room and after a few minutes of trying to make his heart work right again by injects, his heart stopped beating. Doctors started to do resuscitation. Kurt started to cry. It was too much for him. Nurse took him outside and Kurt broke down. He fell on floor.  
"Blaine, no!" He yelled. After ten minutes doctor came to him.  
"Please, doctor, don't tell me he's dead, please..."  
"He is okay. He is stable." Doctor told him and Kurt started to cry from happiness. Blaine was okay. Still in coma, but he wasn't dead.

**AN2: Really shocking, huh? I feel like Moffat. Making Blaine fall. Okay, I haven't watched Grey's Anatomy for 3 months so I don't really remember these hospital things. I know you all hate me right now, sorry :( . I promise, next chapter will be happier. I PROMISE. I should update tomorrow. Please, review :) Bye! **


	7. Chapter 7

After a month, Kurt was still sitting next to Blaine's bed at hospital. Blaine didn't wake up. Kurt prayed every night in his own room. Yes, he prayed. To Kurt didn't matter that they both don't believe in god. He wants to try everything that could wake Blaine up. He asked nurse every hour if he should do anything. Nurse just shakes her head and says that he should be with Blaine if he wakes up. He was thinking about breaking-up with Blaine. No, of course he still loves Blaine, with his full heart. And he cares about Blaine. But he doesn't know if he could handle it all. Blaine will have to go to some psychiatrist hospital. Maybe they will able to heal him? He doesn't know. But he hopes. His dad tried to comfort him but he couldn't imagine being in Kurt's situation. Kurt is trying to be strong. But like he found out, sometimes trying isn't enough. Rachel tried to call him. He doesn't take phone calls. Kurt doesn't talk too much. It hurts him.

**-**

He told himself he needs one day off. He called Mercedes if she doesn't want to go out with him. She agreed.

-at the shopping center-

"Okay, white boy, if you don't buy this sweatshirt, I will." Said Mercedes in GAP.  
"Buy it, whatever." Kurt said in bored tone.  
"Hey. I know it's not fair what happened with Blaine but you can't be sad all the time. I thought that's why you called me."  
"Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I don't want to buy any clothes here. Let's go for coffee." He said with smile and linked arm with her.

All day they were chatting and laughing about things that happened in glee club. But Kurt couldn't stop think about Blaine.****

When Kurt got into hospital, he sat on his usual place next to the bed.  
"Hey Blaine, I am sorry I wasn't here. I was with Mercedes in mall. I needed some break from hospital. But, I bought you something." He took sweatshirt from bag and showed it to Blaine.  
"Do you like it? I know, it's kind of big, but they haven't smaller number and I just had to buy it and..." Kurt started to cry. "Don't be dead. Please. You are everything I need. I am praying for you. And I will sing you every song just to make you happy when you will wake up. And you have to promise me that you will take the pills even next time. I know there will be next time. Even if you will sleep for year, I will be here every day. And wait until you'll wake up. I thought about break up. I love you, so much, and I want to marry you someday but... I am afraid I am strong for too long. And I hope you understand. I want the old Blaine that is dork and cute, who is so happy every time. I know you would protest right now but you know that it's true. You didn't change. But the illness changed you. And I am afraid your illness fully got you. I know it's not something you could get out in month but you can try." Kurt took Blaine's hand and kissed it. Then he laid his head on his bed.

**-**

Blaine was awake. No, not physically awake. But he could hear Kurt and he wanted to wake up and hug Kurt. He was listening to every word that Kurt said. When Kurt laid his head on his bed, Blaine wanted to kiss him and say sorry. He couldn't. Blaine was mad at himself for doing this to Kurt.

**-**

After a few hours, someone woke up Kurt.  
"Buddy, we have to go home. Visitor hours are over." Said Burt and Kurt opened his eyes.  
"Oh, okay." He kissed Blaine on cheek. "I love you. See you tomorrow." And left the room.  
"You must really love him. Even after what he did."  
"It's not his fault. He wouldn't do it if he wasn't ill."  
"Have you ever thought about leaving him? He could handle it."  
"Dad, yes, I did think about it but I won't do it. He needs me."  
"Kurt, don't do it for him. Do it for yourself."  
"I know. I just need Blaine to wake up. Then there will be talk."  
"I just don't understand. Everybody is sad sometimes, why he has to slitting up his wrists when something bad happens to him? Is it 'cool' these days?" Kurt turned to him.  
"You must be kidding me, right?! People are not doing this because they think it's cool! People are doing because they need to feel alive and they need to erase emotional pain! You don't understand." Said Kurt angrily and left the hospital. Burt sighed and walked after Kurt.  
"Kurt, wait! I am sorry!"  
"You don't understand it at all! How you dare to talk about him like that?"  
"You are right. I don't understand it. I never did."  
"You know what? I don't have a reason to talk to you. You should apologize to Blaine when he will wake up."  
"Kurt, think straight, he won't get up. No matter how we wish he could." Burt said and Kurt started to cry. It was too much for him. When they got home, Kurt walked to him room and fell asleep.

**-**

Next day was usual day for Kurt. Sitting next to the bed, holding Blaine's hand and hoping for him to wake up.  
"Blaine. Please, wake up. I am losing my mind and I can't breathe without you. You've been sleeping for long time. I need you to wake up." Kurt cried. Suddenly, he felt pressure on his hand. He looked at Blaine. Blaine was awake.  
"B-Blaine? Oh my god. You are awake!"  
"K-Kurt, I don't feel well." He said in hoarse voice.  
"I know, it will be okay, oh god. Nurse!" He called for nurse. She came in and checked Blaine. Doctor came in.  
"Oh, hello Mr. Anderson. I see you are awake. We are going to do some tests later." He patted Blaine's shoulder then left.  
"Blaine, you scared me. Everybody said that you won't wake up. I didn't believe them."  
"T-thank you." Blaine said.  
"Get some rest." Kurt smiled and kissed his lips. "We are going to talk when you will feel better. I love you."

**AN: Oh my god. I almost erased this chapter. Oh my god. I am sorry I didn't write for long time. I wanted to make a new chapter before 2013. I was so lazy. How did you enjoy your Christmas? I hope you enjoyed it well. Like I said, I wanted to make this chapter happier, and it is in the end. In the next chapter will be big Klaine talk and maybe epilogue after that chapter? Yep. So, I don't know if the next chapter will be in 2012 but I'll try not to be lazy xD thank you for reading :) My friend wanted help with translating something from English to Czech. So it took me long time and it's not done yet -_-. Bye and if we won't see each other this year, then Happy New Year! :) :3 **


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine was getting better and better but Kurt still didn't talk to him about what happened. He knew he can't delay it forever. So, the next day he came to hospital bed, he said:  
"Okay, Blaine, we have to talk. I know that you don't want to but we have to."  
"I know. I am getting help. Real help. I am going to psychiatric hospital and stay there until I heal. I did stupid thing and I want you to forgive me and stay with me. And I won't ask you to marry me until we are at least 21 and living together. I promise, and this time I won't try, I _will_ get better. " Blaine smiled at him and Kurt hugged him.  
"Thank you. That is all for I ask." Kurt said and tried not to tear up. He was so happy right now. Then he pulled away and took Blaine's hand. Kurt kissed his scars on his wrist.  
"You are so beautiful. In every way." Said Kurt and smiled at him. "You are gorgeous." Blaine smiled back.

**-**

After a few weeks, Blaine was able to go to psychiatric hospital. They weren't really happy about it but they knew that Blaine needs it. They were already walking in hospital.  
"So, will you visit me tomorrow?" Blaine asked hopefully.  
"Sure. And remember, I love you but I want you to get better for yourself because maybe next time, you would really kill yourself. And then I would kill myself. And don't you dare fake it to get out of hospital."  
"Okay, okay... I will get better. I promise."  
"Okay. So, I can't go further with you but I will visit you tomorrow. I promise. I love you." Kurt kissed him.  
"I love you too. Goodbye." Said Blaine and left the reception. Kurt was walking to his car and rode home. When he opened his door, he hoped he didn't have to talk with his father. But unfortunately, Burt stood in his way.  
"So, Kurt, is Blaine already in hospital?" Burt asked.  
"Yes, can you move now? I need to get into my room."  
"I want to apologize. For what I said. I am sorry I said that, I never knew why people do it. And I thought that it's trend or something. I am sorry and I will apologize to Blaine too."  
"You should. What you said, everything you said was just wrong. I don't know if I will be able to forgive you. I'll work on it but please, until then, leave me alone. " Said Kurt. Burt walked away and Kurt walked into his room. He felt so tired. All he needed was message from Blaine how he loves him. But then, he reminded himself, that Blaine is healing from his illness. He fell asleep with thoughts about Blaine.

**- **

Next day, Kurt walked into psychiatric hospital. He needed to sign some papers and got card 'Visitor'. He walked to room where patients could draw, play on instruments or watch television. He knew Blaine would be there. He watched Blaine playing songs on his guitar. Like old times. He was playing song from Ed Sheeran. Kurt was amused by his skills. When he was done with song, everyone in room clapped. Even Kurt. Blaine looked up and saw Kurt. He ran to him and pulled him into long hug.  
"You came!" Blaine said happily.  
"Of course I did, I promised." Said Kurt and hugged him back. They sat on chairs near television. "So, did you find some friends already?" Asked Kurt.  
"Um, maybe, there is one girl, her name is Nicole. I am playing her songs and she is drawing me pictures. Do you want to see her?" Blaine asked and Kurt nodded. He wondered how old is his new friend. Blaine took his head and leaded him to another section – Kids. Blaine stopped in one room. A little girl with long brown hair and brown eyes ran to him and hugged him.  
"Blaine!" She said in her little voice.  
"Hey Nicole. How are you?"  
"I feel better than yesterday! Oh, who is that?" She pointed to Kurt.  
"This is Kurt! My boyfriend."  
"He is pretty! Kurt, Blaine told me he was hurting himself. Do you love him even he did bad things?" Nicole asked Kurt.  
"Yes. I will always love him, no matter what." Kurt smiled at her.  
"I like you. Blaine, will you play song for me?" Nicole asked.  
"Sure! Any special request?"  
"No, just some happy song." Nicole said and took Kurt's hand. They sat on floor and Blaine took guitar. He started to play and sing:

_We have fallen down again tonight,__  
__In this world it's hard to get it right.__  
__Trying to make your heart fit like a glove,__  
__What you need is love, love, love.___

_Everybody, everybody wants to love,__  
__Everybody, everybody wants to be loved.__  
__Oh oh oh, oh oh oh_

Everybody, everybody wants to love,_  
__Everybody, everybody wants to be loved.__  
__Oh oh oh, oh oh oh_

Blaine finished singing. Nicole and Kurt clapped.  
"That was beautiful." Said Kurt and leaned to him for kiss. Blaine kissed him back and after a few seconds he pulled away. He pulled up Nicole and held her.  
"So, did you like it?" Blaine asked her.  
"It was amazing!" She said and leaned to him. She laid her head on his shoulder. Kurt watched situation in front of his eyes. He was thinking about future with Blaine.  
"You will be awesome dad." Said Kurt and smiled.  
"Really? Thank you." Blaine smiled back.

**-**

At the end of day, Kurt had to go home.  
"Will you visit me tomorrow?" Blaine asked while Kurt prepared to leave.  
"Of course. You won't get rid of me until you will be okay again. Well, even after that. So, we'll see each other tomorrow. I love you." Said Kurt and kissed him.  
"I love you too. Bye."

**-**

Kurt stepped inside his house. He walked into living room and found his dad watching sports on TV.  
"I forgive you." Kurt said simply to him and walked into his own room. Everything was almost okay. Almost.

**-**

After a few months, Blaine could go home from psychiatric hospital. Kurt was waiting for him outside the hospital. Blaine came to him and gave him big kiss.  
"So, how is my healthy boyfriend?" Kurt asked with smile.  
"I am great. I am finally happy." Blaine said proudly.  
"Awesome! So, no suicide attempts?"  
"Never more." Said Blaine and Kurt with smiled helped him to get his things into car. Blaine expected Kurt to ride him home.  
"Kurt? Where are we going?"  
"You'll see." Kurt stopped outside his house. He knocked on door. And yes, Kurt has a key but he did this for Blaine. Burt walked out of the house.  
"Hey Blaine." Said Burt.  
"Um, hi, Mr. Hummel." Said Blaine awkwardly.  
"I wanted to apologize because I said that self harm is something that people do people because they want to be cool. I am sorry, Kurt told me what it is and why people do it. So, I am sorry."  
"That is okay. Well, I am not cutting myself anymore so I can say it's clear." Blaine smiled.  
"That's great. You can come for dinner if you want to." Said Burt.  
"Cool. Thank you, I will. And also thank you for that apologize."  
"I needed to do it. Bye Blaine." Said Burt and patted Blaine on shoulder. Then he walked back to house so he could continue in watching football.  
"So, that is why I had to come here?" Blaine asked.  
"Yep. Dad owed you apologize for what he said, it wasn't nice."  
"It's okay. And, now where?"  
"Now, I want to give you something. But we have to ride somewhere more... comfortable." Said Kurt and pulled Blaine back to car.

They rode to meadow near the end of Lima. Kurt already prepared blanket there, and yes, he was afraid that someone could steal it, and leaded Blaine there. It was ideal weather for something like this. Sun, but little bit cloudy.  
"Wow. Beautiful place." Said Blaine.  
"Yep, and now sit." Said Kurt and Blaine sat down on blanket.  
"Blaine, I want to give you something for giving me your love and making me feel like I should be here. I know that this year was crazy for you but, you did get better. You won. And if you will ever feel like you are not good enough, think of these beautiful moments we had. Because you made them beautiful. For me, you will always be my star." Kurt said and pulled out a little box from his bag. Blaine opened it and it was bracelet. Well, two bracelets. Kurt took one bracelet and showed it to Blaine. It had little pendant and on that pendant were K+B. Kurt put it on Blaine's wrist and hook up. Blaine did the same for Kurt.  
"Do you like it? I mean, It's little bit cheesy..." Kurt said, afraid, that Blaine doesn't like it.  
"No! God, no. It's perfect. Thank you." Blaine kissed his lips. Kurt smiled and kissed back.  
"No, thank _you _for giving me your love." Said Kurt honestly.

_Sometimes trying isn't enough. _

**THE END **

**AN: Yay, I made it before 2013! I should make epilogue before 2013. So, this was the last chapter. But don't worry, I know what I want to write. A new klaine au story. I am going to give you some hint- skank!Kurt ;). I had this idea in my head for a few days and I love it. So, the song is Ingrid Michaelson – Everybody. Asking why I didn't put whole song into this chapter? Because I don't want that. Sorry :3 So, bye for now! :) :3 With love – Ivet. **


	9. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

_Sure, Blaine still feels worthless or not good enough sometimes, but he never cut himself again. He takes pills instead. After a few years, they moved together in New York. When Kurt was 21 and Blaine 20, Kurt proposed to Blaine. It was beautiful. They had dinner and Kurt took Blaine to central park. Next year was wedding. Everyone from glee club was there. Burt, Carole and even some girls from New Direction were crying. It was perfect day for Kurt and Blaine. They were husbands. Finally. Their wedding night was magical. Like first time. Two years later, they decided they want family. They adopted beautiful girl. They named her Hannah. Sometimes they fought but it never gotten so bad that they actually wanted to divorce. They were happy. When Hannah was finally teenager, she asked her dad Blaine, why he has scars on his wrists. He answered her- he was cutting himself but he stopped because it was dangerous thing and told Hannah to never do that. She nodded. They lived happy life.  
_  
**AN: So, this is it. End of this story. Please, tell me if you liked it. **

**If you will ever feel like Blaine or if you are doing things like Blaine, please, get help. Or it will be worse, trust me. You can write me or you can go on IMAlive (www . imalive . org). That is really great thing because you can anonymously chat there with professionals and tell them how you feel. Or Trevor Project ( 1-866-488-7386). So, don't worry be happy :) With love – Ivet. **


End file.
